At this time of year, everybody likes to weigh in with their views on how each team drafted. Of course, everybody should get an “incomplete” at this stage, but it never works out that way. Everyone has their own opinions on what a team could and should have done better. The Jets entered the 2007 draft with six picks and I decided to use my Hollywood connections (“borrowed” Bassett’s cell-phone), in order to get the views of some celebrities.

Matt Groening: “Well, obviously I liked the Bender pick. I would have also gone with Roman Fry and little-known Hungarian small school prospect, Igor Zoidberg as well later on. My top three picks would have been Juwan “Homer” Simpson, David “Crusty” Clowney and that safety from Florida…Nelson. Ha-Ha!”

Chris Berman: “I’ve got to agree with the Take-a-Chansi-on-me Stuckey-in-the-middle-with-you pick, but I would have gone …another …way with my other choices. Somewhere-over-the-Dwayne Bowe in round 1, Doug “I want to break” Free and Sam “I will take you to” Hollenbach in round 2, Jackie Battle-of-who-could-care-less in round three and Adam “kick push kick push kick push kick push” Koets in the 5th. I would have considered Marshawn Lynch, but he has a dodgy back back back baaaack. Whoop!”

God: “I have an advantage in scouting, what with being omnipresent and all, so here’s who I would’ve taken: Moses in the first, obviously. Samson Satele, Abraham Wright and Jacob Bender rounding out day one. Then I would have taken George “the” Batiste in the fifth and Garrett “Boy who cried” Wolfe in the sixth. Yeah, I know that’s not a bible story, but it’s a derivation of the good samaritan or something. You can expect to hear from my copyright lawyers, Aesop! By the way, do you think it’s ironic that I have a complex that makes me think I’m Bill Bellichick?”

Rosie O’Donnell: “I’m going for Dallas Baker in the first, because I’ve always wanted my own personal Baker. Then I’m having Rice in the second. Gijon Robinson with the next pick – that’s a type of Mayo, right? Later on, I’m taking Dustin Fry, Roman Fry and Brandon Frye, because I like to have fries with everything.”

George Steinbrenner: Wow, Manny Ramirez is available at last! I’ve got to take him, obviously. Then Samardizija, who’s supposed to be a top pitching prospect. Ryne Robinson, yeah he’s a pretty good player. What else do I need? A good hitter, a home run threat and a guy with a rocket for an arm. OK, give me Patrick Willis, Ted Ginn and LaMarcus Russell. What do you mean they won’t be available on the second day? Can’t we trade prospects for them? What do you mean we don’t have any prospects? What do I pay you for? What do you mean you don’t work for me? That’s it…you’re fired!”

David Stern: “After this season in the NBA, there’s only one guy I could take in the first round – “Tank” Tyler! Larry Brown needs work, I guess, if he’s been playing DT for Oklahoma State. I like the sound of Larry Birdine, Akeem Jordan, Kareem Brown and Sam Olajowanubutu for some reason. Those are my guys. Now leave me alone so I can figure out how to jib the Celtics out of winning the lottery.”

George Lucas: “OK, it’s gotta be Obiwan Amobi Okoye in the first. Then I’m hoping Teddy Qui-Gon Ginn slips to the second. After that, I’m taking Paul “Han” Soliai and Mike “Sky” Walker. On day two, I like linemen Mansfield Watto and Marshall Yoda. I’ll resist the temptation to sign my son, Enoka Lucas or Legedu Naanee, even though he sounds like the kind of guy I would like.”

Vince McMahon: “You people suck! Right, let’s get down to business. Get me Lorenzo “King” Booker, James “Fit” Finley, Ryan “The Great” Kalil, Daren Stone-Cold-Steve-Austin and Ahmad Bradshaw. One more? OK, let’s finish with a Jackie Battle-Royale.” *Gets pushed over the table by Joe Anoai (perhaps headed to WWE after going undrafted)*

Larry David: “My draft board looks like this: Quinn, Russell, Thomas, Anderson, Hall, Nelson. I think we get all six without making a trade or anything. So that’s Johnny Quinn, Gary Russell, Walter Thomas, Deon Anderson, KaMichael Hall and JD Nelson. Hey, it’s a better idea than trading up for Vince Young!”

I think you’ll agree that offered a useful breakdown of what the Jets could have done from a wide cross-section of celebrity circles. Maybe the Jets should have listened to Larry (and enlisted the help of some of his friends) after all.

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