Ben Graham: Priss Conference Transcript 9.22.08
Bent was back again and transcribed the press conference of Ben Graham joining the club again this week … enjoy.
Ben Graham: G’day. First lit me say, nobody is as suproised as me to be back here, but as Dame Edna used to say “You can’t keep a good man down, Possums, (unless you ‘ave a lotta rope).” Second, I wanted to say, jast how unlucky Ridgey Hodges was to hurt his lig and oim confident I can pant better than that Waylon Smithers bloke.
Oyd loike to make an opening stitement and then oil tyke some quistins from the floor. Once again, I am excoited to be a Jit. Mike no mistike, this toime oym gunna do me best for the Jits and hopefully things’ll run smoothly.
[drops microphone]
[puts on glove]
[doesn't drop microphone]
Oi was back in Oz when oy ‘eard the news. I was croozin’ along in me ute, and I saw me pit kangeroo jamping about loike crazy, so I stopped the ute and sid “what’s that, skip? Old Man Johnson’s fallen down a will, you say?” So I rode down to the will and me Ma was there and she was loike “Where’ve ya bin ya flamin’ drongo? Coach Mandingo’s bin troyin’ ta git hold of ya all arvo,” and oy was loike “Croikey!”
Press member: What happened to the guy down the well?
BG: Ummm. Anywoy mate, I giss it wasn’t a total surproise because Coach Mandingo left it so that it was easy for me to return.
Press member: That’s a bit ironic, don’t you think?
BG: Ummm. Any more quistins?
Press member: Why do you think you were struggling before you got cut?
BG: Ah, mate, I came to a realoization win I was back in Oz. I never knew that the ball rotated counter-clockwoise in the Northern ‘emisphere. Now that oy’ve figured that out, I’ll be panting the footy further than iver.
Press member: What has the coaching staff done to enable a smooth transition back to the team?
BG: Well, mate, they’ve made a capple of concissions that should help to feel loike oym more at home. They’re gonna lit me hang corks from me helmet and also I can wear a pair of Ugg boots.
Well, if that’s all the quistions, oyd just loike to say to the Jits fans, thanks for the support and I hope you continue to root for the team … ya saucy bastids!
[Gives high five to Mike Tannenbaum on his way out of the room - but only after he left him hanging...for 2.5 seconds]
4 Responses to Ben Graham: Priss Conference Transcript 9.22.08
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j says:
I bet he has his best game as a Jet tonite!
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dakar says:
j
i wouldn’t be supprised…
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tom says:
What’s wrong with the guy from last year, Kapinos?
i said it before, and i’ll say it again. only the jets.