Only When We Win – Part IV
Wait a minute…they won? Oh right, they did, didn’t they? That means it’s time for another edition of “Only When We Win” where I try and cover the angles that nobody else is (probably because they never needed covering in the first place).
This week’s owww touches on the color green, the “Incredible Hulk” and how the media misrepresented the performance in Oakland, as it analyzes the Jets fourth win of the season and looks ahead to the Bills game. Does that sound like something you might be interested in? If not, don’t click here to
Since the Last Time…
The slumping Jets have won only three of their last four games and since the last owww suffered one particularly painful loss. The media, including some of our writers here, condemned the offensive performance by both players and coaches, saying that the only bright spots on a low-scoring overtime defeat were the running game and the continued solid play of Kris Jenkins and the defense. However, if you consider things from another angle, perhaps this was slightly unfair. So I hereby submit my revised offensive grades.
Quarterbacking: Brett Favre’s arm strength has been a concern over the last few games, but he dispelled all those myths by firing a handoff 12 yards over Leon Washington’s head. In the meantime, several wildly inaccurate passes could have been intercepted, but this should mean that his receivers will be wide open in future weeks, as greedy defensive backs stand nowhere near the intended receiver, hoping for an easy pickoff.. A+
Offensive Line: One of the most important roles for the offensive line is to protect the quarterback. Damien Woody did an excellent job of protecting Brett Favre by constantly allowing rookie lineman Trevor Scott to get to the quarterback easily, which prevented the far more dangerous Kalimba Edwards from getting there first. Also, D’Brickashaw Ferguson showed the kind of selflessness needed for the unit to gel when he noticed they were going to incur a delay of game penalty at the two yard line, so he alertly false-started, thereby preventing the rest of the offense from having to run a lap. A+
Running Backs: Well, obviously the media got this one right. Thomas Jones played well and Leon Washington added a TD run and also showed he knows the importance of field position by ensuring he smartly muffed the ball forwards, rather than backwards, which ultimately led to the Raiders having to settle for a field goal. A+
Receivers: Chris Baker again demonstrated the unselfish team-first attitude of the Jets offensive players by falling over on third down to prevent the need for a morale sapping Jay Feely field goal miss in overtime. A+
Coaching: An easy win over the Raiders would surely have crushed Oakland’s resolve, but they still have to play Miami and New England, so by losing to them in overtime, the Jets have ensured those will be tough tests for their AFC East rivals and therefore expertly positioned themselves in the mix for the divisional title. Also, for all the criticisms over the gameplan, Reggie Hodges accumulated over 280 yards through the air. A+
Interception Mailbag
No interceptions for the Jets this week, so no interception mailbag…again. However, I did get some proper mailbag questions, which I have compiled for inclusion in Bassett’s next mailbag post, whenever that will be.
Remember, you can Get Bent at bentdouble@gmail.com
Next week: It could be you…
A Tribute to Green
This week, the Jets honored their heritage with a special ceremony to celebrate the triumphant return of the color green to the Meadowlands. Several famous faces from the world of green. were invited to the game and we were able to obtain exclusive comments from some of them about how the Jets are faring this season.
Yoda: “Hmmm. When 39 years old you reach…look as good you will not.”
Victor Green: “This run defense sucks! How is the strong safety supposed to get 207 unofficial tackles when the linemen keep tackling the runner in the backfield?”
Frogger: “Wait patiently for a gap, rush ahead, shift along sideways looking for another gap, ultimately get crushed…did you guys know that Kevan Barlow patterned his running style on me?”
Kris Jenkins: “Uhhhhh…no I’m not here for the green ceremony. Someone just reminded me I have to get on a plane later.” *Barfs into Jay Feely’s helmet*
Jabba the Hutt: “Die Wanna Wonga?” – Translation: “Seriously? $25 million for Damien Woody?”
Tom Green (of MTV): “I feel a lot of empathy with the Jets. I haven’t really achieved anything of note in the last forty years either and have been virtually irrelevant for the last decade or so too. Hey, watch this!” *humps a dead moose*
Green Day: “Sign up Mike Bell tonight, Jesse Chatman’s knee’s not right…they’ll miss out, when December ends. Look out Favre has gone to pass, Brandon Flowers runs so fast…they’ll miss out, when December ends.”
Joe Namath: “Who *was* that guy in the corridor anyway?”
Oscar the Grouch: “I love trash. I’m having the time of my life.”
Greedo: “Oota Goota Solo?” – Translation: “Does Gholston have ANY tackles today?”
Kermit the Frog: “Sigh….it’s not easy being green.”
Football Fantasy – Part Four: Leonimo!!!
With the recent substance abuse scandal rocking the NFL, it was inevitable that Leon Washington would be embroiled in controversy. Leon’s monstrous physique and incredible reserves of power and aggression have sources all around the league speculating as to how this force of nature became so unstoppable. After all, he was just a mild-mannered student at Florida State just a few years ago.
However, contrary to the ever-increasing speculation, it was nothing that Leon had taken or injected that led him to be such an unstoppable behemoth. In fact it was caused by exposure to radiation from one of the Iron Man Favre’s Jericho Cluster Missiles, which, when combined with the weight room regimens of teammates Thomas Jones and Vernon Gholston, enabled Leon to acquire his freakish power. A power which would become exponentially more significant with increased feelings of rage and anger. “The madder Leon gets, the stronger he becomes”.
When forced into battle against the Chiefs, Leon caused damage every chance he got. And he wanted more chances, but as the opportunities became more and more scarce, the rage within him grew and the monster within would be unleashed. As Leon caught a screen pass in the first quarter, crushing the air out of the ball with his left hand, citizens ran screaming in all directions to get away from him. Even his teammate Alan “Fannibal” Faneca, had to perform the matrix move to get out of his way.
Yet, Leon still did not see as much of the ball as he wanted. “LEON MAD!!!” he growled, “LEON WANT BALL!!!” and with that he wrenched the ball away from the Iron Man Favre and charged up the middle, stomping 60 yards with red shirted Chief defenders running and diving out of his way.
It looked like this battle would be won, and Leon’s rage was quelled momentarily. However, as Brandon Flowers ran back a late interception in front of a silenced Meadowlands crowd (with the only sound being a lonely voice up in the press box singing “it’s not confidential, I’ve got credentials…”), one of the Chiefs made a big mistake by – totally unnoticed by the officials – pulling the chasing Leon down by the arm.
“RAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!” yelled Leon and then ripped his jersey in half. Then he turned completely green. “Dude, you look so much better than against the Bengals when you turned blue and gold,” said Laveranues Coles.
The Chiefs had to punt and knew that this time, they had to at least try and stop the immovable monster. Leon caught the high-arcing kick and dragged all eleven Chiefs players 37 yards before they finally brought him down at the 46 yard line. Leon didn’t like this one bit. He started to shake….someone hit him…the blow didn’t register…he started to shake more violently…someone else tried to hit him…again the blow had no effect…someone went to hit him again, but this time was repelled by the Dikembe Mutumbo finger waggle of doom. A punch, an elbow, a body slam, a big boot, a leg drop. Leon left bodies strewn all over the field unable to prevent the Jets from easily winning the game with a minute to spare.
Laveranues Coles could have done without the endzone celebration that involved Washington lifting him up and slamming him down on his head, followed by ten minutes of body building poses and cupping his hand to his ear, but on the whole, the Jets had to be pleased.
“Well you know something, brother?” said Leon at the postgame press conference, “whatchu gonna do, when Leonmania washes over you?”
To be continued…
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should i write a “only when we win but it feels like losing column?”