A Festivus For the Rest of Us 2008: Airing of Grievances
FRANK COSTANZA: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had – but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
COSMO KRAMER: What happened to the doll?
FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. “A Festivus for the rest of us!”
KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.
FRANK: She was.
[Scene Break, cuts back to scene minutes later]
FRANK: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.
KRAMER: Is there a tree?
FRANK: No. Instead, there’s a pole. It requires not decoration. I find tinsel distracting.
KRAMER: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.
Since this is the time of year for Festivus, we wanted to gather all those Jets employees around the old aluminum pole (it has a high strength to weight ratio) and go through the Festivus tradition … the annual Airing of Grievances …
… I got a lot of problems with you people!!! :)
To Owner Woody Johnson — There’s a degree to which NOT being Dan Snyder or Jerry Jones is a good thing as an NFL owner, but then there’s being too hands off. You are an owner who has an ever increasing track record of not firing folks due to gross incompetence (see Terry Bradway, Herman Edwards and Jay Cross) hey … can you hook me up with a job? I can seriously mess some stuff up for you!!!
To GM Mike Tannenbaum — After nickel and diming Pete Kendall out of town, and in large part helping as Chris Baker put it, “tank” the 2007 season, you went whole hog this past year adding a number of important veterans to join this club. Good work! Your problem was that you didn’t know when to stop and your spring spending mania got the better of you with one transaction move too many this summer. Care to guess which one it was? One hint … it wasn’t signing CB Ahmad Carroll …
To Head Coach Eric Mangini — A win in New England, a win in Tennesse … you’ve shown some good things and we all know that you’re getting a pass this year. But keep in mind, 2009 will likely be your last unless you prove something, so … PROVE SOMETHING, or like Herm did, at least start “Bojangling” (link to Jemele Hill. Something that no one has slammed you for was your unnecessary running of S Erik Coleman out of town. Somehow, even with all your amazing secondary prowess, the unit has suffered during the time you marginalized him to the bench for no good reason. team has
Bob Sutton — Does my defense suck? Not so much here …
… and not so much here …
but RIGHT HERE
Brian Schottenheimer — I know you love to out-out-out-outthink your opponents but as we all know thanks to a certain bassist in the most punctual band in the UK says “there’s such a fine line between clever and stupid.” You’ve shown us you can be clever, but please take this bludgeoning and become aware of the fact that most of your play calling is just plain stupid.
Brett Favre – We appreciate your (gagging) “childlike enthusiasm” but the enthusiasm of a child is fickle compared to the earnest work of a man. Of the two, I’ll take the latter, please. You refuse to learn from your crossfield backfooted lob-it-up “whoo! you been gunslung” mistakes, and finally your age has caught up to you. As the bald-headed squadron commander in Top Gun yells at the brash Lt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, “your body’s writing checks your butt can’t cash.”
When you do play Mangini-ball, you played well, but when you try and take the team on your shoulders, you’re clearly gripping and it’s us fans that end up hitting our heads against the canopy and dying like Goose … limp in the waters of the Pacific, while you get the be the hero of the Indian Ocean and get the husky voiced Kelly McGillis.
Please don’t put us through your typical offseason antics, we won’t pay attention to them, it’s been less than a year and your routine has already grown tiresome.
Kellen Clemens — If we’re going to be a 9-7 team, I’d rather have had you start all season, thanks for sucking enough during training camp so that Tannenbaum felt compelled to get Brett Favre.
Bubba Franks — Thanks for covering the Jets’ bluff long enough to force Chris Baker into making nice … it was the best thing you did for the team all season.
Last Third of the Season Kris Jenkins — I don’t know where your game went, but think of the last place you saw it (LG Stadium, Nashville TN) and look there.
Vernon Gholston — Well, I hope you enjoyed your senior year! I’m might be wrong in assuming it, but I hope you were paid better than your Ohio State days, so congratulations on your graduation. Since you’ll be on the payroll for the second time with the Jets in 2009, we’ll expect 20 sacks this time. Also, feel free to mix in a non-special teams tackle now and again.
Dwight Lowery — I’m not too frustrated with you … you’re young and you’re a fourth round draft pick. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a corner force as many fumbles as you before, and it’s impressive, so it’s not the stuff you do once your man HAS the ball … but I need to know that you can get better in the stuff that happens BEFORE your man has the ball …
Kerry Rhodes — Mister Hollywood … I know we’re still paying you, but are you still on this team? Well, I hope you are enjoying that big new contract, but I need to speak to the manager and see if store policy allows for refunds. You played a hell of a lot better when you were out to prive something … when you were hungry. I’m sorry, but your Pro-Bowl snub was warranted, the first time in three years. Yes, you’ve recovered two fumbles this season and added more tackles than before, but your stats … the one sack, two interceptions and five passes defensed … the stats that are the mark of a great safety … are to be kind, disappointing.
What’s Your Name? The OTHER Underperforming Safety — There’s been a lot of you this season, so you all should listen up, whoever you are, you’re probably not going to be starting for the Jets next season, so I hope you had a good time doing so this season. Enjoy backupland.
I feel so much better … it’s a Festivus Miracle! Add your Airing of Grievances in the comments below.
44 Responses to A Festivus For the Rest of Us 2008: Airing of Grievances
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Electric Ham says:
Nice write-up basset now lets take this divison!!
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ramble914 says:
Could not have said it better myself. I agree whole heartedly with it all.
I am so diasppointed that I am seriously considering finding a new team to root for. Don’t call me a fair weather fan, or a traitor, I think putting up with this sh_it for 40 years is long enough. Nothing changes…SAME OLD JETS!
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Nikolas says:
Great points, I agree with all but one. Dwight Lowery…
I think this kid…for a 4th rounder did very well. Considering he was coached by our DCs. -
Hank,
I like to think of myself as man enough to admit when I’m wrong, and I was wrong, bringing in Favre was a big mistake, we should have kept Chad.
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hank/naples says:
ramble914;
My respect for you has grown immeasurebly. Great way to end this Year. Merry Xmas and the best to you and your family.
Hank
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mole57 says:
While we’re airing the grievances, let’s not neglect the PSLs.
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To you and yours also Hank.
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TruJetFan says:
I am a season ticket holder since 1972. This is the lowest point in our history. Not just because we blew an 8-3 record. But because we will be seen as an inarguable NFL laughing stock come this Sunday. We bought a team designed to win NOW and the result was we didn’t even make the playoffs and we watched the discarded former face of our franchise lead our arch rivals to the division championship. If the Pats lose, I will feel a sense of excitement. But I can muster no confidence we can beat anyone, particularly a team that has a major dose of Karma on their side. Sorry to be so depressing, but being a Jets Fan is very tough right now.
Merry Xmas.
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Mad Dog Mo says:
I would like to air a grievance with the NFL schedule makers…playing the AFC West and the NFC West in the same year is not a good plan. Rethink that one…please.
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JustAGreenGuy says:
When the comparison first started to the 86 season I didn’t agree with it. It may be because I was 3, and although a Jets fan, I was still 3. The difference that stands out other than the BS PSLs is that we most likely will miss the playoffs even if we beat the Fins. The talent is on the team and soon it will be on couches and golf courses all over the country. I wish we could back into the playoff (Except for giving the 2nd rounder to GB) and that is sad. I hope we beat the Fins still. I really hate them.
Happy Hollidays everybody!
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BTW we dont get the main page story on espn when we beat the Pats, but we get it now that we trail the Dolphins. Where is justice?
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And we shouldn’t get too down. We still have some REAL football left and anything can happen.
Besides, we do have a VERY, VERY good football team (with the exeption of three positions) and they will all be back next year.PS. Don’t get to down on Mangini also, he is a great Manager and next year he will prove it.
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Correction:
” PS. Don’t get to down on Mangini also, he is a great Manager and next year he will prove it “…….( although he will need good coaches) -
Hey guys happy holidays
I gotta say after reflecting on this season and watching the Brett Favre press conference a few moments ago whether we make it or not and you all know i still think we will it has been a hell of a season and i dont have any regrets.
Mistakes have been made on the field and from the coaches we all want to win the division and the SB but considering that when i look back 10-20 years from now and remember all the games I went to this year being able to watch Brett Favre maybe not in his prime but still a legend and beating the Patsies on Thursday night football it has been alot of fun.
It is something regardless of this years outcome that I wouldnt have changed. 6 TD’s vs AZ and Thomas Jones running all over the Rams were some of the most memorable games I have ever been to since i started going in the past 15 or so years.
It has been an exciting season and one I wouldnt have traded away for anything.
We still have a chance here and what a season it will be if we have a chance for the division at 4:15 come sunday.
Happy Holidays
- ThE ShOcKiNg sLiCe oF PiG
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18andOne says:
Bryan Thomas: Thanks for signing that big contract in 2006 and then disappearing. Your missed tackles, lack of pass rush ability, and inability to cover anyone makes untradeable and worthless. You’re a true Jet MVP!
Kenyon Coleman: Thank you for your ability to stop the run. It was well worth the huge contract you got from Tangini even though you offer absolutely nothing else to the team. If only we could find more players like you who excel in just one aspect of the game and are completely horrible in all other aspects.
Eric Barton: Ditto, see Kenyon Coleman but minus the huge contract.
Lavernous Coles: Thank you for forcing Tangini to guarantee the rest of your contract. If not for that, who else could we find that would take a guaranteed $6 million a year contract to drop critical passes while pouting about everything and everyone.
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J Roc says:
I’m a Jets fan in South Florida, just please beat the Dolphins…you guys have no idea what I’m going through down here
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oscarfactor says:
For me, the 2008 Football season started with “old, overrated, interception machine.” My over/under for BF INTs was set at 22. Still a chance there….
But now what? Another offseason of questions and certainly less “hope” than when Tannenbaum was spending millions to upgrade the team after least season.
How far did 2008 set this franchise back?
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J Roc- my best friend is a Dolphins fan. If he says one more thing I’m hitting him with my car.
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Matt says:
This holiday season, I would like to thank the Jets for finally choking so badly that my 52 year old father FINALLY quit on the team after 20+ years as a season ticket holder. What will I be getting for Festivus this year? How about a $1500 bill if I still want to go to the games. Thanks guys.
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Oh, and one more thing. I know Mangini gets a hard time for not expressing any emotions on the sidelines, but how about getting some emotion from a SINGLE player??? There is not one guy on the field who ever seems remotely fired up/upset at anything, ever. Until one of the Flight Crew inevitably jumps the shark and just takes her shirt off, I don’t expect to see any sort of emotion from anyone on this club. Thats what bothers me most, just act like you care guys
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southfloridajetsfan says:
I live in South Florida too. This is the worst feeling in 10 years plus.. The worst of it is that Chad is going to lead the dolphins for the next few years while we hope that KC is something.. that he has shown he isnt to this point….
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aidan says:
why the need to be so negative about everything on jetsblog right now? i understand the current state of the team and it sucks but i come to this blog to read information, news, and analysis from different people with different point of views. every post is the same. get your act together man the season aint over.
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Aidan:
How long have you been a Jets fan? Seriously. This is what we do – year in and year out.
If Bill Parcells couldn’t even get us to a Super Bowl, then who will?
I’m really starting to wonder if the Hess family sold their souls (and the future of the Jets franchise) for that SB III victory.
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kd bart says:
Could be worse. Could be a Lion fan.
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Evan says:
Matt, how about Shaun Ellis throwing snow at a fan, thats your emotion right there, but somebody should have told him to use that emotion DURING the game.
Everyone Else: It is very easy for everyone here to say “I told you so” about Brett favre. The future implications are tough to measure right now, but I have to say it was still worth a shot. Brett had a great year last year, falling one win from the SB. He is a future Hall of Famer. It took him time to transition here. But he certainly had an impact on our offense. Didn’t people notice that instead of clogging the box with 8 defenders, the defense had to account for a deep ball thrower. This unquestionably had an impact on our running game that Chad could never create, outside play-action. He had an impact on the confidence of our team, who knew, even when down, we had a guy who could make all/most of the throws. Did you see his last two drives in NE?
Now, he is showing his age. He is showing his recklessness. But thats the downside of the chance we took. We didn’t get Brett just to make the playoffs, we got Brett to go deep into the playoffs. That’s something Chad only did once, and there was no gurantee he could stay healthy.
I havent even started to mention the revenue stream Brett has brought in, I doubt there are regrets with that one.
It’s looking bad now, yes. It was looking great after TEN though. I’d still do it all over again, B/c NO ONE knew Chad was gonna bounce back the way he did. NO ONE.
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John E. says:
Brett Favre is definitely at the end of the road. I still can’t blame the Jets for trying. He did have a great year last year- so the Jets took a chance.
It obviously has not worked out, and it’s unfortunate. I’m sure no one is more disappointed than #4.
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Sammy G. says:
The Jets will never again win the superbowl. They are destined to suck.
Favre is the one player that could have turned it around, but the rest of the team sucks. Jets should have brought over Jennings and Driver from the Pack, then the Jets would have had a chance to go far into the playoffs.
Jets fans are some of the post pathetic fans I’ve ever witnessed.
……………..still rooting for the Jets, lets beat down on Miami.
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I did. It was an even year. See 2002, 2004, 2006.
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No matter how much they have choked these past few weeks, I don’t understand how people say, “oh I’ve been rooting for thsi team for 20 years, and I’m gonna throw all that away and give up now.” This is despicable. That quote is the definition of a bandwagon fan. I chose to root for this team, and no matter how much pain they will bring me, I root for this team. I’m not gonna throw away my merchandise like some people say. If you’re a jets fan, you deal with it. It hurt, its painful, but you don’t bolt our team when they are down. This season has had so many up’s and down’s but you don’t just throw away your fanhood after a few lousy games.
Maybe being a Mets fan, I’m just more used to this Choke job.
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section133 says:
Mangini will get a pass for next season. I guarantee you behind closed doors he wanted nothing to do with favre… for obvious reasons. The sole purpose of this move was for the new stadium, which has backfired perfectly (congrats woody).
Although difficult to say, I am for Mangini. Favre had two good games this season, New England and Tennesse. Every other game that I can remember he made a mistake (In a big way), and we only won the games he made a mistake because the teams were that bad.
Sutton and Shot need to go, and I think Mangini will learn after this season when is a good time to take a chance (4th and 1, and when not — 3rd and 2 shotgun formation with a great running back)
Lets get into the Playoffs and wipe the slate clean it then becomes a 2 or 3 game season.
LETS GO JETS
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I think part of Chad’s turnaround is the chip on his shoulder. The Jets lit a fire under him by cutting him. He doesn’t have the same level of motivation if he’s still a Jet.
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BigKatFan says:
I think the jets will be good next year. All the pressure and problems and Favre behind us. There won’t be any time needed to gel. Everyone will be another year older,stronger, wiser. New rookies, new free agents, new stadium, maybe new coaches….
Either way, it’s gonna be AWESOME! -
Yeah Section, how about that 6 td game against Arizona. You must be one of those half-azz fans that don’t really pay attention to what is really going on.
How’s your boyfriend Pennington going to do this weekend?
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The Jets till Chad retires will remain Zombies. He was the heart of this team and when he left he took it with him. I will always hate Mangini and Tannebaum for stealing my team from me. They stole the 2007 and 2008 seasons and they intend to do the same in 2009.
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JDB says:
i have one, to all the moron Jets fans who ran Chad pennington out of town. thanks jerks
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SteveH. says:
Did anyone catch the “santa claus is coming to town” parody on the fan? “pennington is coming to town” it’s hilarious..someones gotta upload that
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JetFan1130 says:
I think at halftime maybe someone should have showed the team Al Pacinos speech from Any Given Sunday!!! seems they needed some kind of motivation that Mangini wasn’t able to give them. Al Pacinos speech Any Given Sunday link – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4tIrjBDkk
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JDB you must be joking right?
Pennington is a fruit.
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Fruits have names like …Sammy G.
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Jets – Favre = Back to a 4 win Pennington team.
Miami + MANY upgrades = Good Team
Good Team + Pennington = Average Team
Pennington = below average career QB that will never win a consequential game.
Pennington uses Ben Gay
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Sammy G
Based on other comments ure obviously a classy individual. Favre (21 TD, 19 INT) Pennington (17 TD, 7 INT)If you can honestly say favre has had an above average season then I dont know what games you are watching.
Some of the interceptions he has thrown were absolute stupidty with no thought. He is past his prime.. and its time for the other Brett or Cassell. We need a young franchise quarterback not these band aid year to year quarterbacks.
Bassett:
Biggest mistake this season……and you all know what I’m about to say, was………..you guessed it, SIGNING FARVE !!!. Totally incongruent to the team, Mangini and all.
LAST QUESTION: I wonder how much time he spent ono on one with Clemens or OUR REAL Brett or Ainge. What a waste of two years. Merry Xmas to all!!!